I am a SAHM and I am Glad to Do it.

Disclaimer:  This article only applies to stay at home moms, not those who work outside of their home.  


I've been thinking lately of the privilege I have of being a stay at home mom.  I haven't had to go out to work to help out. We have a quieter life than most people and our kids don't have a huge amount of electronic gadgets.  We've had to learn to be careful with our spending.  Because of that, I've been thinking of the responsibilities of being a SAHM.  My job is to be manager of the home and I don't expect my husband to do things after he gets home from work that I am perfectly capable of doing.  The most important thing is making my home a nice place. You notice, I didn't say perfect.  I said a NICE place.  And by that I mean (if you have young children), you feed them, clothe them, and clean them.  I mean you should feed your husband when he gets home from work, make sure he has clean clothes and a path to walk through the house.  When the kids go to school, it should be more of the same, with better meals, more clean clothes and the path is a whole lot wider.  It's getting off the computer to fill the dishwasher or put a load in the washing machine in-between answering kids questions and rescuing them from the top of the fridge.  It's planning ahead a little so meat is thawed so dinner can be quick when your husband gets home to do rescuing duty.
I still am what I consider a stay at home mom, although I do work at our business 5-6 hours a week when the kids are in school or sleeping in in the summer. I know whereof  I speak.  I didn't always do well.  I didn't always have supper ready for my husband when he got home from work.  But I made it while he was watching the kids.  I couldn't get everything done, and he kindly helped me when I was overwhelmed, with dishes or laundry, vacuuming or mopping. Those were difficult years, and rather chaotic as anyone who stays home with young children knows.  Some days were bad, I would sit and let things pile up around me and be thankful that I wasn't chronically depressed, knowing that if I would get up and put one thing away, I could put away two or three or ten.  I knew I would feel better tomorrow.  But, then the kids went to school, their toys grew up and got fewer and didn't spend so much time in the living room.  They took some responsibility for their own things. And then, I began to see what a stay at home mom could be. I could manage the grocery budget better, I could keep the house cleaner, I could keep the laundry up, I could spend even more time on the computer, and with books and with yarn.  And I did.  And I didn't keep the house cleaner, but I still fed everybody and did laundry.

What I'm getting at, is that I know it is hard to keep things going with children, but if you are a stay at home mom, there is absolutely no reason to not feed your husband after he works all day, and to keep his clothes washed.  That's the privilege of being a stay at home mom, and not having to go out to work.  It's learning how to manage a home, and I mean everything from food to schedules.  It's what people do in an office.  It's a high calling to do it at home, and make a success of it.  It means getting off the computer and doing something whether you want to or not.

I have a busy life and cart kids around, but I can get the housework out of the way so that when my kids are home, they have ME, and I'm not rushing around finishing up things that should have been done long before. And you know, I like it, in fact, I love it.  I'm learning to love being a home manager, to have a nice tidy house most days, to look around and know things are under control most of the time.

And things will go out of control, this is real life we are talking about.  But, if you are used to working around and getting things done, it is a lot easier to get back in control when they do go out.

It still doesn't have to be perfect.

Dispelling Myths About Homemaking

I love this post, Dispelling Myths About Homemaking.

All I ever wanted to do when I grew up was be a mother.  I would read those books about people having a dozen children, and having this well organized and well run house, where everyone helped and things ran along like a train on a track.

Then, I went to college, got married and found myself with one child to raise and no more desire to have a dozen, (two or three would be nice), and the train derailed before it got out of the station.

But, I still didn't want to do anything besides by a mother, and I am coming to realize that being a mother, and homemaker is the greatest career on earth.  It is the homemakers that make a home beautiful and comforting. It is the mothers that raise up the children who will continue our world.

Now if that isn't an important job, I don't know what is!!.

Now It's My Turn

Last weekend, I was the company.  My family and I visited my folks for one last visit before some of my family moved across the country.  Since starting this blog I am more aware of my actions and how I behaved at my folks.  When I was first married and even when I had young children, I could find a lot of ways to stay out of the kitchen.  It was mostly I didn't like to do the work, and I was TIRED in those days.  I remember visiting my grandparents, and mom and all the aunts would be working away in the kitchen at meal times, cooking and cleaning up, and the kids were usually as far away as they could get.  I supposed someday it would be my turn.  My turn has come, and strangely enough I don't mind it.  I wonder if it is because I know I won't have my mother with me forever (we are all getting older and it is happening way too fast), or if it is just that I just do it since I'm supposed to be a big girl and big girls help out.  Big girls don't let someone else do everything for them.  And they don't let their mothers, who might be great-grandparents now, do it all either. It was nice.  We cooked, and I cleaned counters and dishes as I went.  I saw things that needed to be done and did them.  No complaining, no fussing. (inside or out), just see the job, find the job and do it.
This attitude has been coming on for a few years, but I'm recognizing the fact today that I'm there. I'm working in my mother's kitchen and enjoying it. I never wanted to do housework for so many years, and part of it is I would rather do something that I like to do instead of something that will promote someone else's happiness and the happiness of my home. That idea is really just selfishness, "I don't want to work so I won't, I just want to have fun." I try to have the attitude around home, 'do the tidying up and cleaning first then play'.  I do find I have less time to play, but I'm enjoying my tidying up so that is part of the fun.  I don't spend all my time cleaning either, and I would spend less if I could focus on the jobs more effectively. It's one of the things I'm working on.  Even a little bit done is better than nothing.