Disclaimer: This article only applies to stay at home moms, not those who work outside of their home.
I've been thinking lately of the privilege I have of being a stay at home mom. I haven't had to go out to work to help out. We have a quieter life than most people and our kids don't have a huge amount of electronic gadgets. We've had to learn to be careful with our spending. Because of that, I've been thinking of the responsibilities of being a SAHM. My job is to be manager of the home and I don't expect my husband to do things after he gets home from work that I am perfectly capable of doing. The most important thing is making my home a nice place. You notice, I didn't say perfect. I said a NICE place. And by that I mean (if you have young children), you feed them, clothe them, and clean them. I mean you should feed your husband when he gets home from work, make sure he has clean clothes and a path to walk through the house. When the kids go to school, it should be more of the same, with better meals, more clean clothes and the path is a whole lot wider. It's getting off the computer to fill the dishwasher or put a load in the washing machine in-between answering kids questions and rescuing them from the top of the fridge. It's planning ahead a little so meat is thawed so dinner can be quick when your husband gets home to do rescuing duty.
I still am what I consider a stay at home mom, although I do work at our business 5-6 hours a week when the kids are in school or sleeping in in the summer. I know whereof I speak. I didn't always do well. I didn't always have supper ready for my husband when he got home from work. But I made it while he was watching the kids. I couldn't get everything done, and he kindly helped me when I was overwhelmed, with dishes or laundry, vacuuming or mopping. Those were difficult years, and rather chaotic as anyone who stays home with young children knows. Some days were bad, I would sit and let things pile up around me and be thankful that I wasn't chronically depressed, knowing that if I would get up and put one thing away, I could put away two or three or ten. I knew I would feel better tomorrow. But, then the kids went to school, their toys grew up and got fewer and didn't spend so much time in the living room. They took some responsibility for their own things. And then, I began to see what a stay at home mom could be. I could manage the grocery budget better, I could keep the house cleaner, I could keep the laundry up, I could spend even more time on the computer, and with books and with yarn. And I did. And I didn't keep the house cleaner, but I still fed everybody and did laundry.
What I'm getting at, is that I know it is hard to keep things going with children, but if you are a stay at home mom, there is absolutely no reason to not feed your husband after he works all day, and to keep his clothes washed. That's the privilege of being a stay at home mom, and not having to go out to work. It's learning how to manage a home, and I mean everything from food to schedules. It's what people do in an office. It's a high calling to do it at home, and make a success of it. It means getting off the computer and doing something whether you want to or not.
I have a busy life and cart kids around, but I can get the housework out of the way so that when my kids are home, they have ME, and I'm not rushing around finishing up things that should have been done long before. And you know, I like it, in fact, I love it. I'm learning to love being a home manager, to have a nice tidy house most days, to look around and know things are under control most of the time.
And things will go out of control, this is real life we are talking about. But, if you are used to working around and getting things done, it is a lot easier to get back in control when they do go out.
It still doesn't have to be perfect.
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