The Decline of Civilization

I don't like the way civilization is heading in this country.  I'm hoping it isn't going downhill as fast as it seems to be when I look at the teenagers of today.  Maybe I need to look at other people.  I know that teenagers don't think of anything but themselves, but they don't seem to have any respect or fear of anything or anybody,  especially the laws of the land. (or their own bodies or anyone else's)  I know there are good kids out there and thank goodness for them.  They aren't perfect either, and are still subject to the "teenage angst" to a certain degree, but these are the ones that are thinking beyond today, don't think their parents are the enemy (an annoyance at time, yes), and keep themselves busy so they don't run into much temptation to to bad things.
There is another element out there that I have the misfortune to watch.  I don't even know the whole of how these teenagers act, because I don't want to dig in it too deeply.  What bothers me the most is the "if you do this to me, I'm going to do it right back and worse to you" attitude.  Civilization cannot continue without swallowing some of the insults that come your way.   I don't mean you should never stand up for yourself.  This is really hard to explain, but there seems to be such an undercurrent of taking things into your own hands that I don't like to see in my small community.  This must be how gangs start up.  There might be some in our community and I would hate to think my kids would be involved with people like that.  I'm not quite sure what has gone wrong here that they are drawn to and want to be around the kind of people that are like this.  Oh, there is a sort of loyalty there, but it is more of a banding together of groups against groups, and that is a recipe for trouble.  I know some of them are into drugs and alcohol.  I know most of them have no parents that even try to control them.  We have worked and talked to our kids, telling them that there is a better way to behave, to be a better person, but it falls on deaf ears.  They WANT to act this way.  I would like to place blame on the parents, but you can't do that in all cases.  Yes, parental neglect doesn't help the situation.  There are parents out there, who don't try at all to raise their kids, they just let them bring themselves up, so there is no guidance, no character building, no "it is better to do the right thing".  There are also the kids who have decent parents behind them who care, who have given them good examples, who have given them a good life, and they still want to hang around the negative element in society.  Some of these kids, and I hope mine are among them, won't get in to deeply to get out and be productive members of society.  They aren't doing themselves any favors by getting involved in these barely law-abiding crowds.  Sometimes kids get in too deep and can't get back out again.
There ARE good people out there, there are good teenagers out there, there are still people who know that having a good moral character is important.
From where I am standing today, if there are more teens who feel and act like this now, and grow up to have more children who turn out the same way, it is eventually going to be a very unpleasant society to live in.  It won't be civilization anymore.
In order for civilization to continue, we have to have standards and live up to them.  Sometimes it IS uncomfortable, but in the long run, it is better for everybody.

Listening is Better Than Talking

It's finally starting to cool down here in the midwest, actually I think according to the media, I'm in the Plains States.   It is funny to me to think that Minnesota to Missouri, and Iowa to Ohio are called mid-WEST states, when they aren't west at all. Then I googled "Great Plains States" and they are the Dakotas, on south and west to the Rockies.   I don't have a quarrel with the term "plains states", because they have a great many flat places.  But to call someting "mid-west" that is east of the middle just doesn't seem right.  It just bugs me.  Okay, okay, I'll get down off my soap box now and behave myself.  I think too many things bug me, or else I just like to sound off to other people and air my knowledge, or just show off.  That made me think of this quote from flylady I found a while back.


When you understand that the need to tell someone about yourself is no more than a need for attention, you can start right away to give yourself attention in the form of compassion, understanding, wisdom, guidance and love and the next time you are in a two-way conversation, you'll really listen. 


Do I need to tell people everything I know on a subject when it is brought up? No
Do I need to add something to every conversation?  No
Do I need to play "one upmanship" at any time in a conversation?  No
Do I need to pay attention to the person who is talking and notice what sort of conversation it is before I say anything?  Yes


I'm afraid I often say things to get attention, to prove to people that I know things, and that I am there next to them.    I also know that people really like to be listened to, and that would be a better place to fill than calling attention to myself.  


(Oops, this is nearly a repeat of an earlier post, oh well, this blog is for my own learning and benefit, and it I need it twice...so be it.)

Pay Attention

I don't intend to make this an 'I love only flylady" blog.  Although, I have a lot of respect for her ideas.  They are slowly infiltrating themselves into my brain and I'm getting a lot more things done.  


I liked this quote she sent out to her followers a couple of weeks ago.  


"When you understand that the need to tell someone about yourself is no more than a need for attention, you can start right away to give yourself attention in the form of compassion, understanding, wisdom, guidance and love and the next time you are in a two-way conversation, you'll really listen." 


I think I talk too much. When I get with my girlfriends and they start talking, pretty soon I'm right in there wanting to add, or even one-up them.  You know how it goes, "My baby is having this rash and I wonder what I should do", and here I am saying, "Oh, well, I had that rash on all my babies, and it was worse, and this is what I did, so of course it's the best things to do."  When I really look at what I am doing, I am looking for someone to pay attention to me.  Having a little notice is well and good, but in my basic philosophy, it isn't the one and only.  Why should I be looking for someone to pay attention to me, when I'm trying to take attention from someone else.   It isn't all about me and it never was.  I grew up in a family that wasn't very affectionate, or given to handing out compliments.  I think I've spent most of my years after I left home looking for them.  I wouldn't think it would be all that much fun to have a friend that spends her time looking for complements.  I have lots of friends that love me, admire me, and family that loves me, too.  (I'm not sure teens are ever proud of their Moms.)  


So, I've been doing what that quote says.  If I get to feeling sorry for myself that I'm unappreciated, or unnoticed.  It just go do something fun for a little while.  It rests me; it reduces my stress; and we'll see what it does the next time I have time to be with my friends.