Unconditional Love

 When you realize that there isn't anything you can do to change other people, it is easier to love them.

I've been thinking about this lately, when I had an epiphany of sorts.  I want to love others more, especially my family, whom I have a very bad habit of thinking my way is the only way to do things. I'm not going to go into much detail here, and this doesn't apply to guiding children into honest and moral ideals.  But, it certainly does apply to over-age children and other family members about whom I am thinking that they live their lives differently.

(This is a very hard subject to discuss, mostly because I don't feel I have the words to do it justice.  So, I may just ramble along here and see what I come up with.)

It, also doesn't mean that I am going to enjoy being around characteristics and activities that I don't think are right, it just means I'm not going to think about them.  I want to try to separate them from the soul inside that needs loved. Love them first, and make sure my own life is displaying the characteristics and spirit that I believe is the most important part of life.

It boils down to how I am going to handle my stress, my worry, my attitude, my joy, my relationships with other people.  It means slowing down and taking time to think about people, .life, connections.  It means being willing to do more for others, and yes, less time for myself.  Kindness done to others, makes them a better person, Kindness to ourselves helps us be kinder to others.

I hope I can hang on to this elusive idea, remembering it everyday.

Avoiding Real Life Doesn't Help

I'm an avoider.  I don't like to face any problems head on, I would rather drift off into no man's land and pretend they never happened.

That said, I don't really want to live that way.  If you want to go through life in a numbed state of consciousness, not only will you miss things, but you won't enjoy them either.  You will come to the end of your life and wonder what happened.  It would be a sorry thing to never have loved enough, enjoyed enough, suffered enough, to make a difference in your own life, and well as others.

I am looking at the beginning of a new year, just around the corner.  I have had a pretty good month.  There have been good days and bad ones.  Thankfully, no "stop the world, I want to get off" moments.  It helps to be busy.  I'm looking after grandkids again.  So, I'm more organized.  There are some days I can't plan on getting anything done, so meals and jobs need to be prepared for and completed ahead of time.  Anything I DO get done on those days, is a bonus.

I'm happier doing things this way.  It feels good at the end of the day, to sit down and reflect.  Everybody ate, the dishes are done, the laundry is done, and the house is tidy.   (Not perfect, just tidy) And on those days, when I spend the entire day out, doing errands, my part-time job and grocery shopping, I just remember, how lucky I am to have the health, and energy to do the work I can do to keep my home managed and my family happier.

Pay Attention

I don't intend to make this an 'I love only flylady" blog.  Although, I have a lot of respect for her ideas.  They are slowly infiltrating themselves into my brain and I'm getting a lot more things done.  


I liked this quote she sent out to her followers a couple of weeks ago.  


"When you understand that the need to tell someone about yourself is no more than a need for attention, you can start right away to give yourself attention in the form of compassion, understanding, wisdom, guidance and love and the next time you are in a two-way conversation, you'll really listen." 


I think I talk too much. When I get with my girlfriends and they start talking, pretty soon I'm right in there wanting to add, or even one-up them.  You know how it goes, "My baby is having this rash and I wonder what I should do", and here I am saying, "Oh, well, I had that rash on all my babies, and it was worse, and this is what I did, so of course it's the best things to do."  When I really look at what I am doing, I am looking for someone to pay attention to me.  Having a little notice is well and good, but in my basic philosophy, it isn't the one and only.  Why should I be looking for someone to pay attention to me, when I'm trying to take attention from someone else.   It isn't all about me and it never was.  I grew up in a family that wasn't very affectionate, or given to handing out compliments.  I think I've spent most of my years after I left home looking for them.  I wouldn't think it would be all that much fun to have a friend that spends her time looking for complements.  I have lots of friends that love me, admire me, and family that loves me, too.  (I'm not sure teens are ever proud of their Moms.)  


So, I've been doing what that quote says.  If I get to feeling sorry for myself that I'm unappreciated, or unnoticed.  It just go do something fun for a little while.  It rests me; it reduces my stress; and we'll see what it does the next time I have time to be with my friends.