This has been a good week.  Not a great week in the housekeeping department, but a satisfactory one.  I had my clothes ready for the morning 6 days out of the seven.   I had my dishes done before bed all seven days.  I had my meals planned for all seven days, not all ahead, but before noon I knew what we were going to eat for supper that night.  I did laundry early and folded and put it away before bedtime.  I cleaned the front areas of the house and kept them looking basically tidy.  I am happy with what I accomplished, because if I can do this, it is the main key that keeps me happy.  If I do my job, I am happy.  The main thing I have to contend with is the days where my attitude, says, "why me?" Why do I have to follow my simple routines?  Why can't I just sit here and knit until my arm falls off and the house goes to pieces all around me, and no one has anything to eat?  The main reason is that I am really not happy doing it that way.  I might think so, but it isn't true. I do work outside the home a little bit, but the job I wanted and asked for was to manage my home.  There is no reason I can't do it and do it well.  I have the time.  It takes as much effort and skill to manage a home with young people in it, that it does to work anywhere else.  You just don't get paid money for it. You have to find compensation in other ways.  Mostly it has to be inside, and when you children are gone, hopefully they will remember.

So, we will see how next week goes.  I did some things I enjoy this week, too.  But, I am happy with the way this week went.  Next week, I have company again, and I usually get derailed in about anything when that happens, I haven't got the work/play/attitude ratio figured out for this one yet.

I'll keep you posted.

I am a SAHM and I am Glad to Do it.

Disclaimer:  This article only applies to stay at home moms, not those who work outside of their home.  


I've been thinking lately of the privilege I have of being a stay at home mom.  I haven't had to go out to work to help out. We have a quieter life than most people and our kids don't have a huge amount of electronic gadgets.  We've had to learn to be careful with our spending.  Because of that, I've been thinking of the responsibilities of being a SAHM.  My job is to be manager of the home and I don't expect my husband to do things after he gets home from work that I am perfectly capable of doing.  The most important thing is making my home a nice place. You notice, I didn't say perfect.  I said a NICE place.  And by that I mean (if you have young children), you feed them, clothe them, and clean them.  I mean you should feed your husband when he gets home from work, make sure he has clean clothes and a path to walk through the house.  When the kids go to school, it should be more of the same, with better meals, more clean clothes and the path is a whole lot wider.  It's getting off the computer to fill the dishwasher or put a load in the washing machine in-between answering kids questions and rescuing them from the top of the fridge.  It's planning ahead a little so meat is thawed so dinner can be quick when your husband gets home to do rescuing duty.
I still am what I consider a stay at home mom, although I do work at our business 5-6 hours a week when the kids are in school or sleeping in in the summer. I know whereof  I speak.  I didn't always do well.  I didn't always have supper ready for my husband when he got home from work.  But I made it while he was watching the kids.  I couldn't get everything done, and he kindly helped me when I was overwhelmed, with dishes or laundry, vacuuming or mopping. Those were difficult years, and rather chaotic as anyone who stays home with young children knows.  Some days were bad, I would sit and let things pile up around me and be thankful that I wasn't chronically depressed, knowing that if I would get up and put one thing away, I could put away two or three or ten.  I knew I would feel better tomorrow.  But, then the kids went to school, their toys grew up and got fewer and didn't spend so much time in the living room.  They took some responsibility for their own things. And then, I began to see what a stay at home mom could be. I could manage the grocery budget better, I could keep the house cleaner, I could keep the laundry up, I could spend even more time on the computer, and with books and with yarn.  And I did.  And I didn't keep the house cleaner, but I still fed everybody and did laundry.

What I'm getting at, is that I know it is hard to keep things going with children, but if you are a stay at home mom, there is absolutely no reason to not feed your husband after he works all day, and to keep his clothes washed.  That's the privilege of being a stay at home mom, and not having to go out to work.  It's learning how to manage a home, and I mean everything from food to schedules.  It's what people do in an office.  It's a high calling to do it at home, and make a success of it.  It means getting off the computer and doing something whether you want to or not.

I have a busy life and cart kids around, but I can get the housework out of the way so that when my kids are home, they have ME, and I'm not rushing around finishing up things that should have been done long before. And you know, I like it, in fact, I love it.  I'm learning to love being a home manager, to have a nice tidy house most days, to look around and know things are under control most of the time.

And things will go out of control, this is real life we are talking about.  But, if you are used to working around and getting things done, it is a lot easier to get back in control when they do go out.

It still doesn't have to be perfect.

To School or Not to School

I was looking around for something to do since I'm on one of my, "let's find something to do rather than sit at the computer all day" kicks.  I seem to have a problem with this getting up and getting lots of things done.  Now, that doesn't mean that NOTHING is done.  Today's load of laundry is drying, the dishes are done, the house is picked up, the bed is made.  I should be sewing. or clearing out or something.  I'm enjoying these days where the kids don't make huge messes, and savoring the last days before school starts.  Then I will be back on the "responsibility for more than me" wagon again.  It isn't just the kids that go back to school.  It's the moms, too.  After all, who makes sure the kids get out of the door in the morning, hopefully with breakfast.  Who makes sure they are ready to go the night before.  Who drives them every morning and picks them up every night.  Who tries to teach them that keeping on top of homework and housework, means an easier time for themselves as well as the mom.  Oh, sure, my kids are big enough to do all these things, but it goes a lot easier if I keep an eye on how well they are handling the stress.  Because, if they can't handle it, then everything goes south with the rest of us.

So, I can't decide if I am ready for school to start or not.  I like being able to work on a project past 3:00.  Because once the kids come home, it is "their" time until time for bed.  I seem to have a hard time getting started on projects early in the morning.  I do like routine (meaning morning starts the same way and we have supper at a normal time), and having everyone home in the evenings, but the older the kids get, the more evening events they have, and then so much for any sort of routine.  I keep reminding myself that these days don't last very long, and when they are gone, I will be wondering where they went, and maybe even wanting a little more busyness around here.

I'm looking forward to cooler days, and cooler nights, for school time curfews, and tied down kids, for time to myself without worrying where the kids are, and time to remember I don't have much more time to teach these kids how life needs to be lived.

Now, to get on with the rest of it, lunch dishes, folding the laundry, and finding a project to do.

Dispelling Myths About Homemaking

I love this post, Dispelling Myths About Homemaking.

All I ever wanted to do when I grew up was be a mother.  I would read those books about people having a dozen children, and having this well organized and well run house, where everyone helped and things ran along like a train on a track.

Then, I went to college, got married and found myself with one child to raise and no more desire to have a dozen, (two or three would be nice), and the train derailed before it got out of the station.

But, I still didn't want to do anything besides by a mother, and I am coming to realize that being a mother, and homemaker is the greatest career on earth.  It is the homemakers that make a home beautiful and comforting. It is the mothers that raise up the children who will continue our world.

Now if that isn't an important job, I don't know what is!!.

Toddlers

On my way out of Walmart this morning I saw a young mother holding her toddler by the hand as he unsteadily walked alongside the cart she was pushing.  He was a cute little guy with smooth brown hair cut in bangs over his eyes.  After my initial thought of what a cutie he was, and missing those times with my little ones, I thought how nice it was she was taking a little extra time to let him walk instead of hurrying him along.  I know there are times when you have to hurry along, but those babies grow up so fast, and then you will be raising teenagers and wish you had a toddler back again.  (At least you are bigger than they are.) It's important to take some time to slow down and enjoy them.

When we brought our daughter home, the hardest thing I had to get used to was not having any more time for myself.  All those fun things I had time to do before, even when I was working, well, there was just not enough time for it.  Gone where the days, when I could read all day, and then hurry up and get the house tidied up and a meal started before hubby came home.  (I do NOT recommend this method, it leaks over into the raising children side of your life, and then you are always playing catch-up and 40 years later writing about it on a blog on how not to live your life.)  I finally had my aha moment, that life wasn't about ME anymore.  It was about doing the best for this little girl that was so dependent on me for everything.  It was up to us to see that this child grew up to be a happy, healthy productive adult.  It's a huge responsibility that most people don't think about when they are wanting a baby.  I didn't spend as much time teaching them as I wish I would have, now that I am looking back.  I remember reading in "Laddie", by Gene Stratton Porter, about being the kind of person you want your children to be BEFORE they are born. We had a lot of fun when the kids were little, but I wasn't very good about keeping a tidy house.  I've never been very good about doing "just a little bit more" to make the next day easier. I was always seemed to be so tired all the time that I never seemed to get anything done at all. I never could seem to get everything done, it was usually three of four important jobs, cooking, laundry, dishes, or cleaning.    I know now, if I would have got up a done that "little bit more", I wouldn't have been so tired.  Doing something to better what is happening around me, makes me feel better by the end of the day.