Just Say "No"

I have been having good days.  I don't think I worry about the state of my life or the country as much when I am busy.  I blog more when things I'm worrying I guess.  Today I did something that I'm glad I did.  I didn't let my daughter talk me into something I didn't want her to do.  I have spent my life doing that while raising up my other kids.  There are times that "nos" can be changed to "yes", but I had a good reason today and I stood my ground.   What I don't understand is why I feel so bad afterwards.  I know I don't like conflict, I don't like to make decisions, I don't like to listen to annoyed children.  I have learned over the past few years that I need to stand my ground and sometimes I can.  It is very important for children not to have all their desires granted.  I think I'm getting better, but I still don't like it much.  I'm more likely to go into 'avoidance' mode and ignore problems, which of course, does not make them better, and very often makes them worse.
I am learning to face other things head on and get them done, like income taxes, and business needs.  What I need most is to just take the time to THINK about things.  I had big ideas about writing things to change the world, when I need to write things to change MY world.  I'm not sure that needs to be public.