I've Got Class

I am sorting through books these days in my attempts to get rid of a few more things in my house.  Being a true SHE (Side-Tracked Home Executive).  I do well about everyday tidying for a while and then something critical or more exciting comes up, and I get buried somewhere.  Nowhere is this more apparent than in my basement.  Right now it is a storage area for things I'm sure someone is going to need someday, including my children's toys that I hope they will play with at their house or mine.  I am going to need some granddaughters, since I have girl toys, too.  I also have the craft area and sewing room down there and during the last several months my daughter and I have been  making a mess  working down there. So, as I have started in the sewing area and going through projects that I will conceivably finish, and throwing out those I won't.; I have made my way to the book shelves.  I got rid of a box full, and separated another pile to read and keep or discard.  I found one called "Manners Now and Then", by May B. Van Arsdale and Mary Rebecca Lingenfelter.  It is written in 1940.  I was amused to find that some of the same bad manners they accuse of young people today, were a problem back then, too. I'm not keeping this book.  I don't feel it is an important resource for this day and age.  


But, I am digressing for the whole purpose of this post, which is to write down the few bits out of it that I want to keep.  


Chapter III
 Manners Begin at Home

"Home is the place where manners and charity as well as many other virtues should have their roots, and strong ones, too."
"The person who has always lived in an atmosphere of good breeding at home unconsciously radiates an air of gentility--or whatever you want to call that indefinable quality which we slangily speak of as 'class'. 


When I was in college I knew a girl, who I thought was the classiest girl I ever saw.  Even back then, I knew that class isn't something that you see on the outside of a person, it's what they are inside.  It's the way the behave, the way they treat other people, the words they use.  


I don't really have it.  I'm getting better.  I'm not as impatient as I was and I can control my temper better.  I have learned there are plenty of things people say that aren't worth getting worked up about.  The one thing that I have managed to achieve, is not taking offense by what others say.  Most people that say unkind things are just not thinking (I do that plenty, unfortunately)  or the people themselves don't matter.  


This poem reminded me of the attitudes I'd like to have:


Daily Creed
by Edgar Guest


Let me be a little kinder,
Let me be a little blinder,
To the faults about me
Let me praise a little more.
Let me be when I am weary,
Just a little bit more cheery,
Let me serve a little better
Those that I am striving for,
Let me be a little braver
When temptation bids me waver,
Let me strive a little harder
To be all that I should be.
Let me be a little meeker
To a brother that is weaker,
Let me think more of my neighbor
And a little less of me.


I know this little poem has been around for decades but it is just as needful today as it was then.  If I treat everyone, family,  friends, even strangers, if EVERYONE would treat others that way, we wouldn't have to worry about school shootings.  


I think I need to read it often.


This is the last little bit I wanted to save as a reminder to my kids.  Not that they will ever read it.


Chapter XI
How to Get on in Business


"A friendly, cheerful manner is one of the greatest assets anyone could have in business. There will be plenty of things about any job which will make you feel far from cheerful at times."
"If you have never learned before to conceal your own discouragement or irritation, and present a calm and cheerful exterior, you will have to learn it if you are trying to be successful in business." 
"Your usefulness will depend on how well you can adapt yourself to the circumstances of your job and the other people you work with."
"Good manners play an important part....In the rush of business, it may sometimes seem easier to crowd in front of someone else at a file, or to reach across a desk for papers that you must have in a hurry.   ....No matter what the rush, there is always time for a word of apology or explanation...."


Courtesy and patience, that's all it takes.  


And lest I let a post go by without a mention of Flylady.  If you use her principles of "being kind to yourself" and "do it now", so you are ahead of the game instead of behind, it's easier.  

Pay Attention

I don't intend to make this an 'I love only flylady" blog.  Although, I have a lot of respect for her ideas.  They are slowly infiltrating themselves into my brain and I'm getting a lot more things done.  


I liked this quote she sent out to her followers a couple of weeks ago.  


"When you understand that the need to tell someone about yourself is no more than a need for attention, you can start right away to give yourself attention in the form of compassion, understanding, wisdom, guidance and love and the next time you are in a two-way conversation, you'll really listen." 


I think I talk too much. When I get with my girlfriends and they start talking, pretty soon I'm right in there wanting to add, or even one-up them.  You know how it goes, "My baby is having this rash and I wonder what I should do", and here I am saying, "Oh, well, I had that rash on all my babies, and it was worse, and this is what I did, so of course it's the best things to do."  When I really look at what I am doing, I am looking for someone to pay attention to me.  Having a little notice is well and good, but in my basic philosophy, it isn't the one and only.  Why should I be looking for someone to pay attention to me, when I'm trying to take attention from someone else.   It isn't all about me and it never was.  I grew up in a family that wasn't very affectionate, or given to handing out compliments.  I think I've spent most of my years after I left home looking for them.  I wouldn't think it would be all that much fun to have a friend that spends her time looking for complements.  I have lots of friends that love me, admire me, and family that loves me, too.  (I'm not sure teens are ever proud of their Moms.)  


So, I've been doing what that quote says.  If I get to feeling sorry for myself that I'm unappreciated, or unnoticed.  It just go do something fun for a little while.  It rests me; it reduces my stress; and we'll see what it does the next time I have time to be with my friends.

I Made it Through

One thing I really enjoy about growing up is that I can handle more busy days in a row, without having to succumb to a headache halfway through.  I also like the fact that I can get by on less sleep.  I guess that is what having teenagers does for you.  You lose sleep, but you don't have to pick up after them.
Fourth of July week was one of those weeks I thought would never end, I just went from high point to high point, or from one event to another.  With the holiday on one end and a baby shower on the other, I had to keep things tidy and going.  My daughter and family were here from Sunday to Tuesday.  We had two days of picnicking, fireworks, swimming and food.  This was my daughter's baby shower, she's expecting another this summer and we are eagerly waiting his coming. An old friend came early with her mother so I was getting ready with extra company.  Luckily, they were perfect company, helping when I needed help and staying out of the way when I didn't.  We had 'home meetings' both Sunday and Wednesday here, which helped keep the cleanness going.  Thursday was the big day, and my youngest daughter hosted the party beautifully, people stayed to visit.  We tidied up enough to keep the bugs away and went to bed.  My mom did the big washing up in the morning, our company left and we were back in business.

Then it was some shopping business with my mom.  It was nice to have her here for a couple of days, and to do some fun things together.  I actually bought a new skirt and top.  I haven't bought anything new for a VERY long time.  Usually I only see the inside of the Good Will when it is time for new clothes.  (And very nice ones, have I found in there, you just have to look.)

So, then, Mom left Sat. On Friday evening, hubby went to get grandson number one for the weekend. So, we weren't done yet, but I began to wish I was.  I wanted to have some time to sit down and regroup.  And that for sure doesn't happen with a toddler.  But, Sunday rolled around again, I cooked supper for my daughter and family and some extra friends with three teenagers again, everybody was gone by 9, and I WAS DONE.

Then we got a call that detasseling starts in two days, and it was time to start planning again.

Ah, real life, what would we do without it?

It's All in the Attitude

I have a confession to make. I don't like to clean. But I like even less a huge mess around me. I used to be too tired to care.  When my children were younger, I couldn't seem to get it all done anyway, so I read books.  That was before facebook and google.  I didn't waste my time on the computer, I read.  So, I didn't do my work.  I didn't want to.  You would think I had all the time in the world, being a stay at home mom.  Well, I didn't have all the time in the world, raising children can wreak havoc on even the best of intentions.  But, I could have had more time, if I just DID something.  As the kids got bigger and the toys were fewer, I could keep things tidier without much effort.  Sometimes I would have to just ban books for awhile in order to get things done.   I don't seem to have much control when I'm reading.  When you use things to escape reality, you can get into trouble. When it interferes with relationships and taking care of your family, it's too much.  I've also discovered over my years of living that when I pretend, or just get up and do SOMETHING, it sort of feeds on itself.  It feels good to get some housework done.  I feel better at the end of the day and that helps the whole management of the house and family thing go more smoothly.

That's the whole point.  I don't feel good about myself or what I've done if I don't do anything all day.  I've chosen this job, do be a home manager instead of a working outside the home.  It's a real job, too.  A home can be manged effectively and efficiently.  It can also be managed well enough so everyone is happy, has clean clothes, food to eat, and can walk around the house without being in danger of killing themselves. I learned to write things down so I don't forget them.  I learned to do my work and play later.  I found the Flylady. I don't follow her instructions to the letter.  She even says herself, to take what she has and make it work for yourself.  I was heading in the direction she takes you.  It sure makes for a better attitude and a better looking house, if you just put forth a little effort every day.  I have learned more from just reading the emails for the general attitude adjustments, than anything else.

I wish I would have known flylady when the kids were little.  Would I have used her ideas and tips?  How hard would it be with little kids to just "get up and go" with the little things that make the house look better and everyone gets fed?  I don't know, because I didn't try it.  I don't say I never cleaned.  Every couple of weeks, I would really clean up the house and make the main living areas look good.  But it wasn't an everyday affair. The main thing, I think, needs to be, work a little, you'll feel better, and take care of your families needs, and then just do a little more.